Two Pump Chumps!

by the shoeclerksth

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Adam Fry
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Adam Fry The finest in Jerk-Rock! I cant get enough of these Jerks!! Favorite track: Actors' Device.
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mix of river jams, laments, odes to greats'. . .


released May 15, 2016

kozi, gibson, sexy c, black hank



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the shoeclerksth Saint Louis, Missouri

three-piece exploring the concepts of our journey through the lens of introspection. . . . handful of 40 something jerks making music. . .

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Track Name: The Tavern
C Am
I know Jimmy and I know Jack
The three of us together we go way back
Johnny is a dear old friend
He comes around again and again


C Am
The time in Tennessee was warm and kind
Can see why it’s famous I’m not blind
But there’s just another place on my mind


F C Am G
Been Traveling all around who knows where I’ve been

F C Am G
Here comes another round I’ll tell you what to bring

C Am
The club scene in Canada that was the trend
Then there’s Ireland and Scotland an amazing blend
You know I always come back to my old friend


F C Am G
Been Traveling all around who knows where I’ve been

F C Am G
Here comes another round I’ll tell you what to bring

At the Tavern

Kentucky Tavern
Track Name: High Ground
Grinding through the time it's the same old drill
my time is not mine have to pay the bills
already have a full plate don't need you to complicate

won't let that woman bring me down
don't even bother to come around
I'll be hiding out on the high ground

you should know better some folks never learn
I can see through your ruse a sucker's born every day with a lot to lose

chorus finish
Track Name: Dickfingers
going down to the river won't be long
you bring the tent I'll bring the bong
We'll be on the water where I belong

Sign of things to come more harbingers
that's what you get fishing with dickfingers

Load the canoe just put a dip in .
Line up the rod will be jig-tippin'
It's gettin cold get out the mittens
don't want them frost bitten

too many guitars one or two singers
that name again is dickfingers thunder bringers, don't mess around and such
Track Name: Actors' Device
Actors’ Device

Verse I
Are you a sad puppy or a vicious Samuraii……?
Always garner sympathy with your off-kilter eye. . .
Therapeutic crutch, never a bit too much,
When did your career begin?

Wonkey-eyed ghost dog, which way are you lookin?
Never let me down, or miss momma’s cookin’….
Oscar struts through the door………
Many an award your eye has scored. . .

Verse II
Musicians or generals, many parts you play, ……..
Never a stretch to mimic a gay. . . say. . .
When will we be blessed to be undressed by your unique glare. . .
Staring down a bear……..dropping underwear, ……we are at your ocular glare. . .

Verse III

Lost in whitacker forrest searching for the magic bottle. . . .
A crooked mouth, or a lazy eye, . . . appearing about to die. . .
All you need is an edge. . .
Black skin, red headed, albino-chinese, midget. . .
Will you be the next to bring it?
Track Name: Majikriver
Dew on my toes . . . haze in my head Taxes from the night before
Water and coffee away from being dead Open the screen and walk through the door

Older than me and younger than you
Pleasant hello'l and how do you dos . . .

get your head straight there's work to do Mary she will help with that
gather the drinks, and I'll pack the food. . add the ice rat-ta-tat-tat

Pack the power and jump in a bed we're heading down, no time wasted

Sun shining down. . . sun shining down on mee
It's coming round. . . it's coming round. time to play oooh majik river

Time to launch . . . we're finally here cradle of water settle in
here come them rapids back man he steers. . .

Check out that log they gotta be there perfect approach bronze back

Fish is on . . my line is tight we're doubled down we're doubled down
everything's right ooh ohh majik river. . .

Suns going down . . shadows are cast looking for home time to kick back Babbling water with a deep hole big gravel bar access to more..

Land the crew we found our spot tents are up, fire is hot

stars shining down . . stars shining down on me
friends sit around. . friends sit around . . stories spray. . oooh Majik river
Track Name: Commander & the Kid
Ruling over the rings from my post in front of the ointjay. . .
When I spied a first-of-may getting to the point.

Another sucker is mouthin’ off, Butcher ain’t gonna take it. . .
After intermission he just might break it. . . .


Commander and the Kid. . .
Got another ilpay?
Half a yard for that little rock?
A sawbuck she’ll suck your cock. .

Verse II:

Cold circus morning, Diesel dew want to go burn one. . .
Plottin’ the hype. . . Deflecting the heat. . . . always top gross. . . . without a beef. . .


Fix your fuckin’ larry’s. . . tylers ginnin’ again. . .
Verse III:

In the middle of a fucking pass-out. . Indian style on cold hard tile. .
Stoned to the gills, plenty scratch to pay the bills. . . another half a dozen down. . .
Is Rod a god damn circus clown? Been pilled up and tumblin’ thru second class towns. . . my lust for misery will not be let down. .

Commander and the kid
Kentucky’s short again!
Burts in the back, notch broad oral attack. . .
Bonnie’s got another board on the rack. . .

Verse IV:

Making the numbers come up right. . . a little pen magic. . .
Irs off our back. . . crummy up the spot. . .
Load the high-striker, the briefcase is jammed. . .
Heller never been higher. . .
Quite the jump, profit hinges on the pump. .
Boys on the load, fell on my face, to many drugs, I never entered your race. .
Commander and the Kid. . .
Track Name: Tinkety Tink
Death star loaded up and stinkin’, No need for a drivin’ and a drinkin’..
Grab your best gal, . . . pull up slow. . . .
Get out of town, roast a bowl. . .
Let the buzz settle in and we’re on our way. . .
Thank you Officer. . . Have-a-nice-day!
Tappety Tap!

Tink, Tink, Tink goes the oney. . . tappety-tap. . . . tappety-tap!
Careful of that glass, let the cop pass. . .
If your gonna push it, you gotta do the limit. . .
Too nice a day, gotta get away. . .

Verse II
Time to pick a resting spot, cool waters bubblin’. . .
Paper on fire, getting ever higher. . .
Under the stars taking it all in, frustration, concrete lamentation, reverse abortion. . too many god-damn hits!
Pass that bucket of gin!
Tappety-fuckin’ tap!

Verse III
Darkness at its peak, cuddle up close. . .
Cold as it’s gonna get, we can make it. . .
Hollow log on the fire. . . no time to retire. . Pass that J around. . pass that J around. . .
Lost in a deciduous maze, mind in a state of blissful haze.
Fuck the wax, and your latest craze. . . . .tappety-tink-ta-tink-tap. . . .

We’re old school flower token, bud-roastin’, spliff holin’, all way rollers. . . . tappety tappety tap-tap-tap-tap tappety tappetty tink tink tappety, tappety tap ta tappety tinketty tink ta tink tink. . . . . .
Track Name: Wooley Booger
Ooh that stank in the air ooh the chatter soundin . . . like bingbong
Nazi's I'm so scared the whoops the swirl around me
wood knocks abound confound pee
It seems I've warmed my underwear

Best get out my way remember what uncle running bear say

If you take a pot shot on a . . fuckin' wooley booger yeah
be prepared to get your face pulled right through your ass

whoa that sombitch is big easily snap me like a twig
you know they say they are peaceful
but that thing sure look evil oh shit I think it licked it's lips

best get out my way
remember what uncle running bear say

If you take a pot shot on a fuckin' wooley booger yeah
be prepared to get your head ripped right through your ass. .

It's the end of the line It's the end of the line
he's the end of the line he's the end of the line